Okay, put away the Middle School jokes. There is such a bird as a Hairy Woodpecker, and it lives right here in River City. My neighbors have the best bird attracting stuff! They put up this new feeder and I don't know what it has in it, but the Hairy Woodpecker was there this morning ON THE BOTTOM of it. Here are the grainy, badly taken photos:
And the pièce de resistance, the CLOSE UP. It's also bad and grainy. Sorry.
If anyone knows what kind of feeder that is, please, do tell.